Nevermore
by Odeath
Summary: "This isn't like me." The raven haired man stopped dead in his tracks, realization daunting over him. He should have never let anything like this happen. His feelings and his desires should be out of the question,  even if he's already dying for it.
1. Meet Cute

She was right in the middle of an unknown desert, fortunately with food to spare and good supply of water but also with a broken down convertible. Sitting on the driver's seat; her head was leaning on the headrest, looking up at the sky in mild protest, as if she can blame the heavens for her misfortune. The soft black interiors of the car was hot against her skin, sweat was starting to form on her forehead.

The hood of her red vehicle was ajar and hot smoke was coming out of it, adding to the heat from the sun, the wind was just as warm. She let out an exasperated sigh, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea" she thought to herself. "but I wouldn't mind the free tan" she mused silently. She let the mild sunlight sink in through her pale skin with her eyes closed beneath her white rimmed sunglasses. She placed her arms on the driver's wheel. The rich, golden sound of her bangles were soothing as it rang through her ears.

Her phone started ringing all of sudden, her sweet ring tone sang melodiously. She tilted her head to the side unwillingly. The device was placed on the passenger seat, it was pink and white, with charms dangling through a small hole. The light was blinking but she wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone right now, so she just left it like that until the ringing stopped.

She was trying to make a decision. That is to continue moving forward without the car, or to dial the number and ask for help. Somehow she found herself stuck in the middle, or perhaps stuck because of the free tan, but right in the middle felt kind of right at the moment. Plus, she didn't like the idea of being towed back to where she came. She has been planning this get a way for quite some time and she really didn't want it to end with a tow truck.

The battle between go forth and go back hadn't been settled even as dusk made its presence known.

She found herself exhausted, even if she did nothing arduous. She rested on top of the hood which has cooled down with her hands spread out and her legs crossed. Her sweet baby off-white dress was tucked underneath her to keep it from being blown away and she was sure she could feel sand grains inside her boots. For some reason, she felt as if she wasn't the only one there, unlike a few hours ago when she was completely alone.

She elevated herself using her elbows to see what was in the distant. Aside from the setting sun and the dust in the wind, she was sure she could make up a group of people walking towards her. She pulled her sunglasses back to her hair and squinted her eyes to make sure they weren't fooling her.

Yes, it was too good to be true, here is her salvation.

She slid off the hood of the car and waited for them to come. The group consisted of 2 females, one with short black hair and glasses, the other one with blue tresses. And 5 males. One of them was really big, the other guy looks like a samurai and the other looks kinda like a college student, there was a shorter guy, too and another tall guy who reminded her of her gym instructor

She shivered at the thought.

First off, this group, she thinks, broke the status quo. They found it kind of funny too, since they all look so different from one another, physical appearance, per se. It's as if someone was power tripping, selecting people randomly and forcing them in a group.

She was instantly reminded of a reality t.v show.

...

"That's a little peculiar," said Franklin, eying the girl with the broken down car from the distant.

"Yeah, you don't see something like that in a middle of the desert everyday," Phinx agreed.

"Nah, I see them around a lot of times, only they're not as _lively,_" said Feitan. With his hand on his pockets

"I meant the car, it's THE limited edition," Phinx clarified. "Aside from the driver's seat and the passenger seat, its boasts two rows of seats in the back, making it an 8 seater vintage convertible, and a huge trunk"

"Don't even think about it" Machi snarled, "the only thing we need right now is a car that big that isn't even working"

"I can fix that!" came Shalnark's cheerful voice, of course what can't he fix? "I'm sure it just over heated..or something" he shrugged.

"So we'll be taking the car then?" Shizuku asked.

"Where will you get the water?" Nobunaga asked.

"Where will I sit?" Franklin asked.

"Good questions" Shalnark grinned apologetically. Thinking that fixing the car would be a whole lot easier compared to answering his comrades.

...

She was standing face to face with the group of people who looked as if they were born to kill. Surely she has heard of Geneiryodan, the most notorious band of thieves, at large. But who would expect to find them, let alone, find anyone in the middle of the desert.

For the better sense of things, she didn't doubt that they are dangerous guys. But somehow she must work her way around them, she is outnumbered, helpless and to her disadvantage, her red convertible is a clear giveaway of the kind of status she has in society. She knew very well that they can strip her off her valuables and take whatever they can and use it to their advantage. Then, they would finish her off, leaving her body behind to rot in the middle of nowhere, with no one to tell her family.

Geneiryodan was thinking that, too.

she straightened up, "Hi there" she greeted, her voice was as cheerful as it was since she left her home. She beamed at them genuinely, as if they didn't pose any threat. The group was dumbfounded and some even forced not to laugh,this wasn't the reaction they were expecting from someone or anyone in particular whose confronted by them.

"I'm starting to loose confidence in my self" said Nobunaga as he snickered. He already did a full scan of the girl, no weapons, no armors, no nothing. Just a typical civilian, there wouldn't be any thrill with this kill.

"Well, Hello" Shalnark smiled, since he was by nature, friendly. "I don't know how to say this but.."

"We'll take the car" Phinx stated, leaving no room for negotiations.

The girl crossed her elbows and thought for a minute. "Hmm.. it is my first car" her face was full of sentiments, she casted her eyes onto vehicle, her hand gliding gracefully on its smooth finish.

"Okay" she smiled yet again. "Knock yourself out"

Another dumbfounding moment. Everyone stood straight in awkward silence. Anya was just like any other human being stuck in the middle of the desert, the easiest way to cut her out of her misery is to just kill her. There is no way that they are tagging this girl along. But somehow, gut instincts told them she was not like everyone else, she has value.

"This is the part where you're supposed to run" said Feitan.

"Oh.." said the Anya, tucking her hair behind her ear "I can do that if you want me to"

Another awkward silence. Feitan sighed.

Shalnark scratched his temples. "Wow, you sure are strange, are you?" he said as he caught sight of her long chained necklace with a vintage cameo pendant.

"In one condition" Anya said sternly, so that her right hand was in a number gesture. "I need you to take me to Paradise Hotel"

The girl is very attractive, no doubt. Her hair was a shade between brown and auburn, her thick fringe fully covered her forehead but was swept to the side. The rest of her hair was tied in a messy bun with stray curls framing the sides of her face.

"I don't mind" said Shizuku, "how about you?" She turned to Franklin.

"I don't mind either" the giant replied.

"Aren't we supposed to kill her and take everything useful in her possessions?" Feitan scoffed, slightly annoyed.

"Well, I do have food" Anya said, it was a last resort, a desperate one. But girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.

"FOOD?" Nobu, Phinx, Feitan and Shalnark chorused. When was the last time they ate? They could not remember.

"Yeah" she nodded her head as she walked towards the compartment and double checked her belongings. "and water enough for everyone.. I guess"

"Let's take the food first then kill her, or kill her then take the food" Phinx thought aloud.

"Well, as long as there is someone with you who knows how to cook, you guys are good to go" said the girl.

Very awkward silence followed.

"I thought so" she giggled. "I can cook, I'll cook for you guys, just take me to Paradise Hotel, you can keep the car, too." To Anya's disbelief, it looks as if things were working out for her, or perhaps the Phantom Troupe was in no mood to kill. "So, what do you say?" she offered.

"Why didn't you pack canned food instead" Feitan commented, frowning, It was a good question even if it was a little off topic. "And how are you going to cook in the middle of the desert?"

"I'm in for healthy living and natural ingredients" Anya answered, ever so proud with her hands on her waist, "I watch what I eat and as for the cooking part.. Keep me alive and leave everything to me" she grinned coyishly.

Phinx nodded his head, he is also a fan of healthy living. Well, aside from the killing of course, he does mind his diet. It was fairly obvious that in Geneiryodan he was the most well-built.

"... I am hungry" Phinx said, feeling his stomach growling.

"We'll take it" Machi concluded. A lot of things going in her mind right now.

"Since when did you start deciding for this group" Nobu asked with a sarcastic yet lazy tone.

"Since now" Machi rolled her eyes, she turned to Anya. "I'll be taking your ring, too" It's not that she took the part all of a sudden, in Machi's defense. Just that, she knows no one would take the initiative and right now, she's in no mood to do some flip coins. Everyone knew she can be unreasonably impatient sometimes.

"Good eye" Anya smiled. "No problem" Anya's heart sank, but if it were her life on the line, what could she do?

...

The sky was moonless that night, it wasn't awfully quiet though. Shalnark and Phinx were trying to fix the damage on the car. Shalnark was fixing it, Phinx was merely admiring. Good thing is that the music player is working okay, that way they'd have music playing in the background and it wouldn't be as awkward.

The rest of Geneiryodan was seated around a camp fire while Anya was busy cooking using the portable stoves she brought. Shizuku would come to offer help every now and then to which Anya was very grateful for. Though at some point, Shizuku's book robbed her attention and ended up being too absorbed with her reading, completely forgetting about what Anya asked her to do.

"She forget things very easily" Franklin informed Anya, he stood up, "If you need help with anything.."

Anya looked up at Franklin's towering height. "No need, thanks!" She laughed nervously, "This is a piece of cake"

Machi was suspicious of the new comer. Though the girl seemed to be nonthreatening to them, she somehow got this feeling that there is more to her than a random girl stuck in the desert. They need to spare the girl and she hates spares. Feitan, Nobu and Franklin on the other hand were enjoying a good game of cards where Nobu was accused of cheating well in fact it was Feitan.

Nothing strange, just spiders being spiders.

Anya sighed in relief, she doesn't really get scared that easily, of course it's obvious that these guys are no good, but something tells her they are not at all that bad. Actually, she feels kind of safe being around them.

It was pretty ironic, at first she was annoyed at the fact that her car was full of junk that was too much for one traveler. The outback trip was supposed to be for a party of 5, she kind of over did the packing, just in case. But then the rest of the party goers made a last minute cancellation, leaving her devastated but determined, still. That, and with plenty of supplies to spare.

She took a sip on the curry-life-saver "It's done," smiling with satisfaction, she announced "Dinner is ready"

...

The only things which can be heard were the soothing love song played through the car, the soft rattle sounds of the utensils and the occasional crackling sound made by the firewood all of which were gathered by Feitan and Phinx from who-knows-where.

"I have to give it to you" said Nobu with a huge grin, "I'm glad we didn't kill you then" finishing his third batch.

"Yeah" Feitan agreed, still not finished with his plate full of curry and rice "Beef curry is better than murder.. well on some occasions"

"Occasions such as this?" Anya laughed. But inside, she was so relieved. Even if she tried to put up a fight, she was way too outnumbered.

"Don't be too laxed Missy, we can kill you after we eat" said Nobu with a hint of humor, which Anya took seriously with a hard gulp.

Phinx was too busy eating, so was Shalnark but he didn't fail to compliment her, "This is really good.. ah.." Shalnark suddenly stopped eating. "I forgot to ask your name!"

"It's Anya" Shizuku answered, clearly satisfied with her meal.

Those who were paying attention were surprised, namely Machi, Shalnark and Franklin. Shizuku is extremely forgetful, it was strange of her to remember someone's name so easily.

"Oh Anya, I'm Shalnark" he smiled with a boyish grin, "And these are Machi, Nobunaga, Phinx, Franklin and Feitan, I reckon you already know Shizuku" the others nodded their head in acknowledgment, Anya bowed politely with a smile.

Machi stood up and gathered everyone's plates. Taking Phinx's too, even if he wasn't finished, causing him to run after Machi til he got his plate cleared.

"Machi's a neat freak" Shalnark said, "She can't help seeing stuff disarranged"

Anya laughed, "I can't imagine seeing anyone who can"

"Thank you" came Machi's reply from afar. _"At least somebody else thinks so"_ she said to herself.

"And thank you for the meal" Shizuku politely bowed.

"I'm glad you liked it" Anya replied, beaming.

"Where did you learn how to cook like this?" Franklin asked, with his mouth full of rice.

"Well it's only proper for my age I think.. since I've been preparing myself" Anya answered timidly.

"Preparing for?" Machi frowned.

Anya placed her hands in each side of her cheeks with a cheesy grin, clearly abashed.

Machi rolled her eyes at this, she knew what Anya's reaction had meant.

"Preparing for marriage?" Shizuku asked, her fingers pushing the rim of her glasses closer to her eyes.

"Mm!" Anya nodded her head cheerfully, her hands clapping softly, soundlessly.

"You are getting married?" Nobu asked, "Aren't you too young for that?" he was surprised of course, since he saw Anya as someone from her teens, too young to even think about marriage. But also, it's because he is the conservative and traditional type of guy.

"No, not really getting married" Anya confessed, her mood abruptly becoming somber now, a hint of disappointment in her eyes as she recollected some memories she'd rather keep to herself. "But, it's nice to think about, that's all" she forced out a weak smile.

"Oy Machi!" Phinx called out, "hand me some beer over here"

In a matter of seconds a can of beer came flying out of nowhere and hitting Phinx right in the face, sending him flat on his back.

"What did you do that for?" he sat back up, "That hurt" he almost sounded like he's whining.

"You deserve it, pig" Machi scorned as she each handed the others their canned drinks without hurting anyone.

"Thanks" said Anya when she took her can of orange soda, "So what bought you guys here?" she asked.

"Well.." Shalnark thought for a while, "It's kinda complicated"

"How so?" she persisted, very curious.

"We are headed to Paradise Hotel ourselves" Said Franklin, opening his can of soda. "We are supposed to meet our boss there"

"Oh" Anya said, "That's great, maybe it's destined that we met here then"

None gave out any comments, since a few of them do not believe in such, knowing their Danchou does like these kind of things. Destiny included, the subject is debatable.

"So what do you guys do? Are you assassins?" she asked.

"What if we were?" Feitan asked, his face mask was pulled down, "You scared?"

"Not at all" Anya replied, "I'm thinking of doing some steak and mashed potatoes tomorrow"

Nobu laughed boisterously while others seem to relish the humor. "We'll keep you alive alright, but we might keep you for good, too" he joked.

"You don't seem to be too nervous with that idea" said Machi, "We are more than assassins you know"

"Well" Anya answered, "Being around armed people is not really new to me, I got used to being with people stronger than I am" she answered truthfully with a shrug.

"Which reminds me, how long will it take before we get there?" Anya asked turning to Shalnark.

"Well, if we get the car running we should be there in no time" Shalnark answered, "Will your supplies last?"

"With everyone's appetite, it's good for two days" Anya answered, a little worried that they might run out of water.

"Pfft, two days? You're lucky we are two people short, Phinx thought about for a while "Oh! two and a half," He snickered.

"There is more of you?" Anya asked. Anya wondered how the others look like.

"Yeah, back ups" Nobu answered.

"No worries, we won't be taking that long" Shal said as he got up to his feet and walked towards the car.

"Hmn. Anya" came Shizuku's voice, "What about you? Why are you going to Paradise Hotel?" she asked softly

"Ahm" Anya smiled, " Heard some great things about it and figured why not give it a good visit"

"Bad liar" Franklin interjected in a sing song tone.

"Paradise Hotel is a luxury hotel and casino right in the edge of Mizcombe desert, where we are right now. It's has very limited access since the most exclusive and high end social parties are usually held there, surely a woman such as yourself, can afford to fly unless you don't want blimp officials scanning and calling your relatives for background check" said Shalnark, intelligent but never intimidating.

"Aren't you supposed to fix the car?" Phinx said with a very lazy tone in his voice.

Shal stuck his tongue out, "I am working on it" he answered. He was fixing the car and was a few feet away but he does enjoy the little conversation the rest of the group was having.

"Are blimp securities that tight now a days?" Nobu asked.

"No, not really" Shalnark said, "Only blimps that take passengers to Paradise Hotel"

"So.." Machi followed, "What's your say on that, Anya?"

"Well.." Anya blushed, "You caught me, but it's kind of embarrassing to admit it to you guys" She sat curled up, hugging her knees.

"Oh c'mon " said Phinx, "It can't be that bad"

"Well no" Anya hesitated, "Uhm.. I'm expecting someone there, well not expecting, he doesn't even know I'm coming"

"Your boyfriend?" Shizuku asked.

Anya nodded her head, "Kind of like that"

"What do you mean kind of like that?" Nobu asked, thinking if this girl were his daughter, he'd strangle her all the way home.

Anya thought about it for a while before answering, "We are kind of more than boyfriends and girlfriends but a little less compared to a married couple, our relationship is a little complicated"_ more like very_, she thought.

"Oh, so marriage is the only thing that is keeping you" Franklin said

Anya lit up, "Exactly!" _Exactly what I want to happen_

"Why would you come looking for him? Was he unfaithful?" Machi asked, mildly intrigued this time.

"Oh no" Anya gasped, "He's wonderful, only that.. he's always away "

"Why?" Franklin asked.

"Work keeps him away from me, so he takes care of that _first_, he said it's for our future"

"Are you sure that he's working on something for your future?" Nobu asked, "He might be working on something _else_"

The rest of the guys seemed to agree with Nobu's statement.

"Oh no, he's not like that at all" Anya gasped on her lover's defense, "But I know there are some things he'd like keep from me"

"Well.." Shalnark said, "That's kinda unfair"

Anya nodded solemnly, "He said its for my own good, I know he has my best interest at heart, but sometimes I feel like he's hiding too much, when there is nothing to hide really, I mean it's me" it was like the happiness was sucked from her in an instant.

"What would he hide from you aside from an affair?" Feitan asked, he doesn't really consider feelings, his or others. It doesn't matter to him.

"His occupation" Anya answered briefly. It came out of nowhere, perhaps it came out of the hurt she feels inside. But she did regret ever mentioning it. She never tells anyone anything about her relationship. Aside from that, not a lot of people from her turf knows she even has one.

"What about his occupation?" Feitan asked again. He was getting used to the asking. Actually none of them in the Ryodan have mutual friends aside from each other, well none they know of. And the fact that they are learning about someone (who they are not going to kill) is very new to them. Very new and enlightening.

"Well, he has access to a lot of things and places.." Anya was really starting to hesitate now, choosing her words since she doesn't want to get everyone judging someone they don't even know.

"So he's a smuggler, big deal" Phinx was lying on the ground on his side, his elbow propped up, supporting his head.

Anya choose not to say anything, so she gave out a little laugh instead.

"What's your boyfriend like?" Shizuku asked casually.

"Well, he's very good looking" Anya began, "And he likes collecting, he's kind of like a businessman, too. But more like an art dealer as well, he and my dad are good friends" she got really excited since she never had this talk with anyone before. She could just go on and on and on, talking about him and his awesomeness.

"Where did you meet a guy like that?" Franklin asked.

Anya blushed really hard, "Why so many questions?"

"None of us has ever been in any relationship worth talking about" Machi confessed straightforwardly.

"Guilty" said Phinx,

"Guilty" Feitan followed,

"Guilty" came Frank and Shizuku in unison

"Guilty" Shalnark admitted almost too proudly.

"Not Gulty!" Nobunaga announced, "Next question! how long have you known each other?"

Nobu's sudden announcement was followed by contagious laughters, outbursts and insults which ended up with Shalnark begging everyone to stay quiet so Anya can continue with her story.

"Well, I've known him since I was 14..15, I think. He used to hang around the house with my dad, Dad works with the arts and culture industry. So they were really close, always talking about unknown treasures and undiscovered places"

"Sounds familiar..." said Feitan

Everyone had the idea..

"NAH!" they all chorused.

"So, you two have been going out ever since you were 14 - 15?" Shal asked, very skeptic.

"No" Anya laughed, "I knew him then, but we weren't interested in each other like that, he was like an annoying older brother. We only started dating two years after"

"Okay.." Machi sighed, combing her hair with her eyes closed, her lips was pursed in a thin line. "So how did that came about?"

"Well yeah.." Anya said, "So after a year or so, I was sent away for school, I was on my 2nd year in the university when we met, accidentally" Anya recalled. Laughing. "I used to take my friend's shift at the ice cream parlor every morning, and that was the start of it"

"And then?" said Shizuku, the story really getting to her now.

"It's getting kinda late" Anya laughed nervously, feeling really uncomfortable with all her secrets being revealed, by force.

"Continue" Machi's tone was icy and beyond compare, spine-chilling.

Anya nodded her head at once. Machi sure was the scariest. She's not afraid of Feitan's or Nobu's death threats, at least not as much as she feared Machi's sharp tone and ice cold stare.

"I remember the first time I saw him..." Anya soft spoken voice trailed off as she began.

...

Fall was on it's way, the leaves were changing colors, the wind was starting to chill.

Fall was her favorite season.

Ever since she started working there, sales had gone up 88% in profits and revenue, and still counting..

She didn't mind the extra work and the ridiculous pay.

She just needed something to keep her busy, distractions.

16 year old Anastasia Bellegarde was ready to go back to her apartment, after taking her friend's full shift for that day. The round wall clock in neon-blue says 4:22 PM, Anya decided it was time to start the cleaning since she'll be closing in 8 minutes. She exited towards the kitchen, taking off her baby pink apron with cupcake prints.

Then, the old fashioned doorbell rang. A last minute customer entered the quaint little shop. This very small yet very famous ice cream parlor was situated on top of a hill, it has baby blue walls which was heavily decorated with photos of ice cream and famous people with ice cream, enclosed within red and aquamarine frames.

"Be there in a minute!" she called out.

The tables and chairs were made of sturdy light wood with beige cushions, the tables were either round for two seaters or square for four seaters, there were shelves full of decorative items as well, like pastries and coffee beans. The long freezer near the counter displays a huge array of creamy gelato and a small display counter rooms the pies and cakes.

It was a strange craving for the black haired man, even strange that he is actually willing to indulge. Looking up at the menu board behind the counter, which was written beautifully with pink and yellow chalk, he cannot decide.

Anya was about to return to the counter, ready to take the man's order and call it a day. But upon entering, she couldn't help but swallow when her eyes laid on the customer. He was tall and pale, his jet black hair hung straight and long, his eyes were deep and mysterious. He was, undeniably, very good looking and very familiar, too. But since she was looking at him from the side, she really couldn't tell. But it was a perfect profile nonetheless.

She never thought about it, but this guy seemed to be her type. She never had types before, no man has ever left an impression on her such as this, and this is just by looking at from a distant. Gathering up all the courage she has from her work experience, she went to the counter and asked. "What can I get you?" For some reason she was far too shamed to look at him straight on. She avoided looking at his face, her cheeks were getting hot and the blush was starting to show.

The raven haired man was still undecided he didn't even bother looking at Anya since his eyes were still affixed on the freezer below, "Strawberry sounds good, but mango frothe doesn't look so bad either" he thought.

Anya took the opportunity to scan this mysterious man. He was wearing a crisp black suit, over a midnight blue shirt, no ties. The man placed a hand over his mouth, Anya caught glimpse of his cuff links, she thought those were similar to what her dad wears at home, she also knew they were pretty expensive.

"You sure are serious with your ice cream ne?" said Anya, That's when his attention shifted to the girl standing right in front of him, behind the vintage cash registrar.

For a while he stood still. Anya was smiling at him, even though she wasn't looking at him directly. Her reddish brown hair was tied in a bun, with it's layers tucked away from her face with colored hair pins. There was sweat on her temples which curled some stray strands of hair. Under her eyes were very faint circles, contrary to the strong blush visible on her cheeks. She wore a very bright smile but over time, her smile started to fade away. She tilted her head to the side and her small, pink lips turned into a sweet pout. "There is something on my face" the funny thing is, it was a statement.

Upon realizing his own foolishness, he laughed. She eventually laughed with him, too.

"No" he answered, his voice was cool and soothing. "It's.. it's" he never ran out of words but he can't seem to find the right one. "Perfect" he concluded, "It's perfect"

Anya bit her lip, smiling, blushing, nodding her head coyly. She has received plenty of compliments to the point where it meant nothing to her, but there was something with the way he said it that made her want to run outside and jump with happiness. She can feel her cheeks heating up, she can't recall when was the last time she felt something like this, or close to it.

After a few seconds, the black haired man drew his face closer to Anya's. The girl backed off nervously, blushing hard, her eyes turned away. "Is there something wrong?" she stammered.

The man held her chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, A smile spread across his pallid face. He examined the girl's features, it was exquisite. Her eyes were affixed onto the floor, hidden away by her long bashful lashes "Look at me.." he said ever so softly.

It was as if she forgot how to breathe, the moment she heard his voice. That soft, soothing voice, that seemed to have an unexplained power over her, magnetizing her, she complied. Slowly, she turned to him. Her face was just a couple of inches away from his. Their eyes locked on to each other, her deep blue eyes which arcs every time she smiles. It was beautiful.

"Anastasia" he said her name with a gentle smile on his face.

Her eyes widened upon realizing who that man was, "Kuroro.." she muttered. And with no further hesitations, she threw her arms around him.

It caught him off guard, surprised, he stiffened. For a moment he noticed that she was uttering something to him, but his senses failed due to the sudden embrace which he hadn't expected. But as she started sobbing and telling him how much she misses home and how happy she was she saw him, his tension eased, he found himself embracing the little girl he thought he knew then.

It took a few more seconds for him to return to his senses, Anya gently pulled herself away from him,

"I ruined your suit, sorry" she sobbed, forcing out a weak smile.

"Don't worry about it" Kuroro smiled. "And stop crying already, you're not a baby anymore.." he gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. There was something ironic with the way he said it, it's as if he realized that fact just now.

"I came here for ice cream, but look what I got, my suit drenched with tears of joy" said Kuroro, trying to lighten Anya's mood.

Anya giggled, "You're the one who was taking too long to pick" she replied playfully.

"Because" Kuroro reasoned out, his tone was very light and friendly, "there are too many"

"Strawberries are in season" She assumed he might need some help in choosing, but then she can't help but hold her panic, she hadn't checked if there was something on her face which caused him to look at her like that, was her hair funny, was there something on her teeth? She regretted smiling that time.

"Strawberry it is" He smiled back, his head slightly tilted to one side.

...

AN:

Anya is annoying here, I knoow -.- will show her true colors, soon.

And this fic was planned, I know where it's going and how it's going to end. Then all of a sudden, I had this urge to rethink the whole thing :I

maah, hate this feeling!

This has been revised: hope this one is not as horrid, lol! thank you so much for reading .heart.

Yours truly.

(.com)


	2. Frailty

"That guy is kinda creepy," Phinx commented, rolling his eyes while trying to fight off sleep. "Creepy guy is creepy."

"So, he was just standing there and staring at you for a minute? Before he realized you two are like, _friends?_" Feitan repeated, his tone was very sarcastic, it made Anya regret the whole story telling thing.

Anya nodded, "I asked him what made him like that," She confided while she was fidgeting with her hands. "He just said he was stunned when he saw me." she shrugged.

Nobunaga was lying down on the sand, limbs spread out, snoring. Franklin on the other hand, sat quietly with his eyes closed.

"Stalker alert!" Shalnark said as if to warn Anya, "I bet that guy knew who and where you were!" he cried from behind as he wiped his forehead with his forearm, wrench at hand.

Anya laughed, "I hope not." she caught sight of Shalnark who seemed to be fully concentrated on fixing the car, she felt guilty instantly, it was _still_ her car after all.

"I think it's kinda cute," Shizuku said honestly with a smile, "I liked your story."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it" Anya grinned, growing fond of Shizuku. Machi gave no interest, she kept herself occupied with her own thoughts as she strained herself in order to keep her hair up and tied.

The sudden roar of a car's engine brought Anya to her feet.

"You fixed it!" she exclaimed, bewildered as she clasped her hands together.

"Yep, I fixed it." Shal nodded, grinning boyishly with a hand on his waist as he got out of the passenger's seat. It's safe to say that the people from the troupe are very _very_ hard to impress. Because of this, he came to appreciate Anya for not failing to notice what he did good, even if it were just a simple mechanic's craft.

"I'm very impressed!" Anya approved, all of a sudden she felt her insides churning as she remembered how she bargained this vehicle for her life.

Shalnark blushed, "It's nothing, really!" he forced himself to laugh, a very rigid "HA-HA!". He realized he wasn't so good when it comes to taking in compliments.

"Ne, you didn't answer the question." Shizuku pressed, her earnest eyes was fixated on Anya. The glass eyed girl slowly closed the booklet she was holding.

"What question?" Anya asked, confused as she sat back, not breaking the eye contact with Shizuku.

"Why you followed your boyfriend to Paradise Hotel?" Feitan reminded. As if to ridicule Anya because of her lack of attention to details.

"Oh, yeah. There is no escaping you guys huh?" Anya giggled nervously. She wasn't really avoiding the question but it'll be nice if they'd just let it pass.

"Nice try though," Shal took his phone out and sat cross-legged between Feitan and Machi.

"Well, I miss him," Anya admitted softly "Being away from someone you really care about is agonizingly hard, it's torture!" And then she started to feel the soft, familiar sting piercing her heart once again, she was somewhat getting used to it. Perhaps it was her body's or her mind's involuntary reaction whenever she thought of him. She pulled a stray strand of hair behind her ear just cause she felt so conscious and vulnerable.

"It's that bad?" Shalnark asked reluctantly, busy fiddling with phone. He was very well read and wasn't really clueless when it comes to the pains that goes along with romance, but he'd never think that those would actually apply to real life.

"Torture?" Feitan scoffed, "Maybe you're comparing it to the wrong kind of torture, it doesn't sound like it hurts that much, I mean, if I were doing the torturing.."

"How does it feel?" Machi asked, completely cutting Feitan off before he runs wild with his imagination, "That kind of pain?"

Anya held her hand over her chest, as if to check if her heart was still beating. She bit her lip as she recalled the stingy sensation she felt when he left her for his business rendezvous.

"It's like something is piercing your heart, it's not a physical pain, but it just.. It hurts so much" she let out a deep breath as she tried to find the right words to describe it, "Every passing minute felt like hours to me, I don't even count the days anymore since one without him feels like an eternity." she explained it fast with a slight frown

"There are times when he'd be gone for months and I'd be left alone without anything or anyone to hold on to, only but the promise that he'll return to me." She closed her eyes, "I would do anything just so I can be with him, just to see him maybe." and she would gladly defy the natural course of nature if she could. "But.." she opened her melancholy eyes.

"But what?" Shalnark asked, as he anticipated for Anya's response. Shizuku remained quiet but she was just as anxious to hear.

"Let me guess" Feitan interjected, his tone was neutral now. "You can't see him because you won't, cause you love him blah blah and you're a goody goody, that and he told you so"

Anya shook her head slowly, she pursed her lips as she smiled, revealing two small dimples. "It's my _girly_ pride." Anya laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly heavy environment. "Self worth, all those evil things. It keeps me away from him, and it makes me feel like I _should_ keep myself away from him, after all the frenzy he puts me through."

Anya took a good look at her audience, they all looked to lost and confused.

"See how everything is conflicted, it's maddening!" She breathed hopelessly.

"You're not much of a goody goody after all." Machi gave Feitan a sideway glanced, amused with how he came up with such a term.

"Then again..." Anya lit up, "Whenever he returns, he always put everything back in to place, and I fall in love with him all over again." she grinned.

"Well, it's not his fault you're paranoid." said Feitan, his comment was a bit harsh but Anya was flattered nevertheless since he cared enough to listen.

"I am not." Anya frowned playfully, "A good relationship is built on trust. And he clearly does not trust me with his secrets." she pouted, folding her arms over her chest.

"Well, it's not like he's the one with the trust issues to begin with." Phinx yawned, covering his mouth as he did so.

"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side" Anya protested, "I'm going to give you my car." she said in a whining tone.

"Oh yeah," Phinx recalled, feeling lively all of a sudden as he sat straight, "You should totally dump him." He nodded pretentiously with a smirk.

Mused grunts and soft laughters followed his last statement.

"Hmm." Machi thought out loud as she sat curled up so that her elbows were resting on her knees, "Being away from someone to the point where it hurts." Everyone seemed to be taking this lightly except Machi. She was the critical thinker, after all.

There was an unexpected silence as they got consumed with their own thoughts that were triggered by Machi's words. They lost two dear people in their lives and perhaps some of them have their own personal engagements with people from the outside.

Nobu wasn't snoring anymore, like the two older members of the troupe weren't even asleep to begin with.

"It sounds like a fairytale," said Shizuku honestly.

"It does," Shalnark agreed, "Somewhat.." his attention shifted back to the game he was playing on his phone.

"So..." Anya breathed. "Everyone, let's save the stories for tomorrow, time to go to bed!"

"Awesome," Phinx breathed, this was the moment he has long been waiting for. "Ah, where's the bed?"

...

Geneiryodan can last days without food and sleep with their agility, endurance and other combat things intact. But tonight came in quite differently. They were full and satisfied, lazy and unmotivated, the majority of them are anyway. So It has been decided that tonight they will camp out, to Machi's dismay. They will continue onwards first thing in the morning.

The Phantom Troupe settled themselves on the ground, it didn't take too long before some of them fell asleep (albeit lightly) with the help of Anya's sleep things. None of them are used to sleeping soundly.

Shalnark, ever so polite was courteous enough to offer Anya one of the sleeping bags, but the girl declined. She told him she wasn't sleepy and that she might stay up to watch the camp fire, Shalnark told her it was unnecessary but the girl insisted and so he obliged.

Though it was a little out of character for the phantom troupe to be using these sleeping materials for comfort, none complained, maybe cause none of them had the stomach to turn Anya's kindness down.

The girl walked towards her car the moment everyone had settled down. She sat on the passengers seat, the thought of making a run for it never occurred to her.

She doesn't like how quiet it was all of a sudden. She was feeling very nostalgic and it made her sick to the stomach, she was not very fond of the memories that came along with the aloneness, and she_ has_ quite a few. Anya fought the feeling wherein she was somewhat forced to think about things she doesn't or things she shouldn't even be thinking.

The crackling sound made by the burning firewood didn't help her either. She has no distractions and she is in dire need of them.

She sat with the seat reclined, her knees were on a right angle so that her feet along with her weight can rest on the compartment box in front. She pulled her hair out of its bun so it hung over shoulders with the light scent of strawberries he liked so much. After a few seconds, she found herself contemplating. She remembered how she was a very long time ago, not long before he came into her life.

...

She was a university student, a very promising one at that. She took studies in Literature, Arts and Cinema and more. She was a friend to all, none was a friend to her. She warmly welcomed and had plenty of lovely people who wanted her to be a part of their life whether as a companion, an apprentice, a lover and so on. She had a number of admirers, but she just wasn't interested and was far too intimidating to be approached for such intentions (as the strong majority or college male students saw it). She had a lot of opportunities, perhaps because of the impressive family background and connections, but she would never take them unless it was something she knew she deserves, even if it means settling for less.

Although she is usually bright, kind and cooperative, she would never ever let anyone get past by being just a colleague.

Anastasia was also highly opinionated, but her opinions were contrary to the statements normally accepted by high society. Hence; she learned how it was for the best to keep them to herself. She fabricated her orals and her written works so that it would appear prim and proper. She got high marks by doing so, faking. To now she wonders how high or how low would her marks be if she submitted her real documents instead.

But she thought wrongly about herself and how others saw her. People would have loved to hear her honest opinion because she always had something interesting to say, but she would never go into details and hesitate. A few share the same interests, not to mention the same music preferences and even her fondness with cats. If only she'd give in a little, then perhaps she won't need that job at the ice cream store, or those subjects she took which weren't really necessary. Maybe then she'd stop doing all kinds of things just so she'd have the remaining hours of the day to sleep just to rid of herself of any free time which she may misuse.

But no one knows of all the lengths she goes through. Though others saw her deep character, the majority just thought of her as a beautiful and smart commodity. Boys would wait for her along the hallways waiting for her to pass by wearing her usual attire. She frequently wears her hair in a loose bun with pens or pencils sticking out of it, her clothing usually consist of layers upon layers of light cotton and knitted materials with short (but descent) skirts and warm boots to match. She also preferred wearing glasses even if her eyesight didn't require it, and would stay late inside a library or a cafe alone with her earplugs (and loud music) blocking her from the rest of the world.

Despite her many odd idiosyncrasies, a lot of people still managed think fondly of her. On the contrary, a handful learned to dislike her just as much.

A good enough reason why she developed trust issues; she never lets anyone close enough to hurt her and to love her. Distractions are essential to her everyday routine.

Now why would a promising young girl like her go through so much ordeal?

Because her goal was to meet all high expectations, if not surpass it. She loves her father dearly and it was he who asked her to study and to study hard. She would never want to disappoint him and no amount of home sickness or loneliness can force her to pack her bags and return home.

...

Not knowing what to do next, she took the cellphone from the compartment box where she had placed it earlier. Her heart jumped all of a sudden when she saw she had two miscalls from him. She felt as if the world had landed on her shoulders, how stupid was she to have missed it.

A memory came to her, that time when she had placed the phone over her ears as she answered an unregistered number, it seemed so long ago.

"Who is this?" she asked.

"It's me.." said the voice she has been longing to hear, "Where are you?" Even though his tone shows such composure, Anya knew he was worried, she felt the strain in his voice and his soft sigh of relief the moment he heard her voice.

"Looking to check in for a hotel, I was lonely so I went out." she said, her tone was cold and unforgiving, but she pressed the device on to her ear real tight, as if she were holding it for dear life.

"You didn't answer my calls, why?" he inquired, she felt like she's being investigated for a crime. He didn't like the idea that she was out and alone. But it was his own doing that left her so lonely that she decided to amuse herself.

"It's just now I noticed." she answered briefly.

"I called Saki, I asked about you, she's a terrible liar." He was calm and reasonable, as always.

"I asked her to cover for me, I can't go home tonight" she hated herself for it, how numb she gets when he's wooing her like this.

A few seconds of silence went by before he broke it off.

"How are you?" He was more than sincere when he asked. He was concerned because.. she was all he ever cared about, ever.

"I'm fine." she lied, her voice broke off near the end, and he didn't fail to notice that.

"Are you still mad at me?" there was a soft surrender with the way he asked it, it's as if he was already begging for forgiveness. And it broke her heart.

"I was never mad at you, just with this thing we're in" she said rather softly now, fighting off the tears that were on its way towards the rim of her eyes.

"Anya.." he whispered.

"Are you having fun?" Anya asked, trying to change the subject, fighting off unwanted tears. She could hear the people talking and the melodious orchestra in the background.

"No," he said solemnly.

"Oh.."

"I miss you." he breathed softly.

Anya felt her throat drying up as she swallowed. "Then why can't I be with you!" by this time, hot tears came pouring down her hot cheeks.

She didn't understand it all, if it were just a simple business thing then why can't she come along? Or why can't he let it pass? She knew he was telling the truth about the work thing but she just couldn't figure out what was so bad about it that he'd keep her away from it.

"I've waited long enough to be with you.." his tone was gentle yet firm. She rolled her eyes at this since it was an indication that his decision is final, and no amount of cold treatment, or moping, or bribery can change it. That wasn't the first time they argued over something like this.

"And I am willing to wait longer when everything is right for the two of us." He is aware of the fact that he had asked so much from her already, how she would sadly oblige to his requests, how she would just stay at home while he out, or how she would stay away from certain places, as if she were in danger. And to top it off, he would give her no leads to where or what he's up to, only the occasional phone calls and infrequent messages.

But she was very intelligent and inquisitive, unfortunately. And every now and then she would ask questions with answers to which he knew she wasn't ready for. Of course it kills him whenever they get tied up with his affairs, but what can he do? Despite the fact that he plays by deception, he never had the heart to lie to her. So he'd tell her the other truth if not the one she wants; that he simply cannot tell her just yet, not now.

"And when is that?" she demanded, her heart was full of hurt and longing. She grew impatient of these occurrences wherein he'd talk about things she can never quite figure out because he would never let her. How he would make her feel so left out.

"It's hard for me too, Anya." he replied.

"Imagine how hard it is for me." she cried as she strained to stiffen her voice so as to hide her frailty.

"Anya, _please_." he pleaded. How rare an occasion for him to ask her in this tone, like he didn't have a choice but to let her understand, and she refused to.

"Look, I have to go. I just.." she wiped her tears away with her hand forcefully, Tthis has been going on for the longest time, and I don't know what to do anymore. So please, I don't want to think about any of this, even you."

And with that she hanged up.

It was cruel and she regretted ever doing it the moment the thought even came to her. But if it didn't end there, then who knows where it could have led to. Even though he was passive and sorry, it can't be helped. She knew she was being immature and inconsiderate, but that's how she is.

In that short instant, she received a message from him.

"Please think of me again when I get back."

She sobbed uncontrollably, he was too good to be true.

...

The present day Anya sighed, she shook her head at the thought of how she was then. Come to think of it, nothing significant has changed, she is still just as immature and inconsiderate.

"Maybe I deserved this after all" she whispered to herself.

She sat up straight with the phone resting on her lap, her face looking down at what was once connecting her to him. She browsed through her files with every message and every photo they had together, looking back was painful.

_What happened? _she wondered. They were just too smart for each other.

Not wanting to wake everyone up, she got out of the car, and turned away from their camping site. She was looking at the endless desert under the rich midnight blue sky with scattered stars.

The harder she fights, the harder they fell.

_How can I be so cruel_, she muttered to herself.

There he was; smart, understanding, loving and gentle. He was all she could ever ask for and more, but with one single flaw. There is a room where she's not allowed to enter, a secret world of his where she was not allowed to explore. But how she wanted everything, and everything about him.

She stood straight with her arms around herself, crying silently. She has been far too selfish and doubtful, _what kind of a person am I?_ She thought. Shame flooding over her, W_hat does he think of me now? ... Does he even. _

"Ne.." she stared into sky, "Do you still think of me?" the stars twinkled overhead.

...

He was looking at his own mobile phone with his unsuccessful attempts to reach her.

Disappointment, concern and regret washed over him, so many human emotions in one occurrence.

_Does this number still exist to her? _He thought of the many endless possibilities why she didn't answer, was she in danger? or did she just decided to simply call it quits and move on.

It was as if he got hit by something hard in the gut as he remembered that same argument they had not too long ago, it felt like she had cut off everything between the two of them the moment she hanged up. His own life force, gone.

_Perhaps it's the 5 year age difference,_ he reasoned out silently. Was he getting too old? or was she just still too young? He shook the thought away. He and Anya got along splendidly in the first place, age was never a factor since it almost like they share the same level of thinking.

Though her words tore him inside out, he was left with no other choice but to take everything in, as a form of compensation on her part, since he cannot afford to compromise.

His phone displayed his favorite photo of her which he took. She was looking at him as she was about to smile, a small dimple was visible on the spot right above the furthest side of her lips. She was pointing at something in the distance, dolphins along the bay. Her wind-swept hair hung long over her shoulders as the sunset drenched her skin in a warm luminous glow. And her beautiful sapphire eyes, deep and vibrant, how it arches whenever she smiles. _Such a beautiful sight. _

She didn't know he took this photo until she wrestled him for his phone afterwards, he laughed a little as he recalled. He allowed his thumb to spread across the surface as if he could really feel her.

S_hould I call her again, one last try? _He asked himself.

Anya hoped he would, and he wanted to.

But he didn't.

...

The 3 day event held the grand introduction of a series of paintings created by a famous 17th century Impressionist who was said to have been possessed by a spirit as the paintings were being created. The last and missing canvass to the collection has only been recovered recently and to commemorate such, this grand gathering of the masters in the arts and enthusiast alike was held in its honor.

"Champagne?" came the sweet voice of the waitress who has been eying him along with her friends from the moment he stepped inside the ballroom. She was clad in their service uniforms, black corset over a white long sleeved shirt, a bow tie and a very revealing skirt.

He put his phone away as he smiled pretentiously, closing his eyes as he did so, completely getting rid of his torn self.

"No, thank you" he answered politely, "Excuse me". He was still smiling as he walked away, both hands inside his front pockets.

He unknowingly left the waitress gushing over his charm, he wasn't clueless of the fact that he has this certain effect on women, such charisma. What he was most aware of is that the waitress can give him the reliable information he needed. But he just wasn't in the mood for anything, he wanted to cheat himself, to come and see her.

_It is possible,_ he thought. _I could forget the whole thing and find her,_ he was finally trying to convince himself into committing the real crime. _But what would my intentions be?_ To apologize? To check if she's alright? Or just to see her smile.

He then thought of his comrades who were all on their way right now. _This isn't like me_, The raven haired man stopped dead in his tracks, realization daunting over him. He should never let anything like this come in between him and his goals, including everything they have worked for.

His feelings, his desires should be out of the question. It can wait, _it has to_, even if he's already dying for it.

Right now, he is Danchou, the Head of Geneiryodan.

Ruthless, cold-hearted and brutal.

Nothing else should matter.

...

AN:

Hope you like.

I changed the title because I was fairly uncertain with the previous one, Aitai. It is Japanese for wanting to see or meet (or something close to it)

Nevermore means 'Never Again'

For the first time, I am having some difficulties with the title, usually it just pops out like..daisies, but I guess I'm just tired :(

Is the title better ? would you prefer the old one? or another one? OTL

**Reviews, questions, suggestions, comments, reactions (violent or not) would be greatly appreciated. **


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